Have you ever found yourself stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts? Maybe you’re constantly saying, “I’m always overwhelmed,” “I never get a break,” or “I’m just not good enough.” If so, you’re not alone. But what if I told you that the way you think about these things is actually reinforcing them?
Reframing is a powerful tool that can shift your perspective, change your energy, and help you move forward. If you can’t reframe a situation, you limit your ability to see new opportunities or solutions. And that means you stay stuck.
Your Brain is Wired to Focus on What You Tell It
Your brain has a system called the reticular activating system (RAS), which filters what you focus on. Think of it as a flashlight in a dark warehouse - you can only see what your light is shining on. If you’re focused on being overwhelmed, your brain will seek out and reinforce that feeling. If you tell yourself, “I never get ahead,” your brain will only notice evidence that supports that belief.
But what if you shift your focus? Instead of saying, “I’m always late,” you start saying, “I’m becoming more punctual.” Instead of, “I’m always broke,” you reframe it to, “I’m learning how to manage my finances.” Your brain will start finding ways to reinforce these new beliefs.
Reframing in Everyday Life
Let’s take a real-life example: food. Imagine you’re on a trip with your family, and there’s an abundance of sweet treats everywhere. You don’t want to constantly say, “We’re not eating that” because that just keeps the focus on the food. Instead, you shift the focus entirely - “Let’s go for a swim,” “Let’s do a puzzle,” or “Let’s visit with family.” Instead of fighting temptation, you redirect the energy elsewhere.
The same principle applies to bigger challenges, like dealing with setbacks at work or in relationships. If you’ve been struggling in a job that feels stagnant, instead of thinking, “I’m wasting my time here,” try asking, “What is this job teaching me about what I want in my next role?” One simple reframe can shift your energy from frustration to empowerment.
The Power of Bringing Awareness to Hidden Blocks
Sometimes, the things holding you back aren’t even in your conscious awareness. Many people I’ve worked with unknowingly sabotage their goals because of unresolved experiences from their past. When you’re stuck, ask yourself:
Where does this resistance come from?
Why does it feel so hard?
What am I afraid of?
It’s like when a child falls and hurts themselves. Instead of saying, “Don’t look at it!” you ask, “Where does it hurt?” Acknowledging it allows healing to begin. The same goes for your own setbacks. Once you bring awareness to what’s draining your energy, you can release it and move forward.
Overcoming the Fear of Who You’re Becoming
One of the biggest reasons we stay stuck is that deep down, we fear who we might become. If you’re naturally assertive, maybe you hold yourself back because you don’t want to come across as aggressive. If you’re a people-pleaser, maybe you worry that setting boundaries will make you seem unkind. But denying your natural strengths only chips away at your confidence.
Reframing helps you embrace all parts of yourself. Instead of thinking, “If I speak up, people won’t like me,” reframe it to, “If I speak up, I attract the right people who respect my voice.” It’s not about becoming someone different; it’s about allowing yourself to fully be who you are.
Ask Better Questions, Get Better Results
We have about 60,000 thoughts per day, and 93% of them are the same as the day before. If you’re stuck in a negative thought cycle, you’ll stay stuck unless you intentionally change your thinking.
Instead of asking, “Why do I always fail?” ask, “What’s one thing I can do differently next time?” Instead of, “Why does this keep happening to me?” ask, “What can I learn from this experience?”
Even affirmations - love them or hate them - can help shift your thinking. If saying, “I am successful” feels fake, try, “I am learning how to succeed.” The small shift makes a huge difference.
Your Next Step
Reframing isn’t about denying reality—it’s about choosing a perspective that serves you better. Start by noticing your recurring thoughts. Where is your “flashlight” focused? Then, shift the narrative. Ask better questions. Give yourself the space to see things differently.
You have the power to change your story. What are you choosing to focus on today?
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